The Big Pic ~ by higman (work in progress)


Finally! That is the only thought I could come up with at the chance to put down this writing. By the light of my screen, I planted in a pot what has been growing like a 56 year old start under a light. Knowing the edits, the rewrites, the accidental deletions and scrambles to recall the exact wording I wrote is finished is more than gratifying, It’s a sigh. It’s a selah and pause for meditation.

There’s a scene in a movie, one of my favorites, called Close Encouters of the Third Kind. In the scene, a father played by Richard Dreyfuss, is obsessed with an image that has been impressed in his mind since witnessing a UFO. As he appears to his wife to be totally losing his mind, tearing apart the yard and it’s belongings only to toss them inside the house through a window, his purpose is very clear, to himself at least. Driven by an image that he must get out of just his minds eye, he pursues every good intention phase to manifest it to real life for his own sanity’s sake.

While in the moment, with a wife in tears at the drama unfolding, he says ” Have you ever looked at something and it’s crazy and then you looked at it in another way and it’s not crazy at all?” Trying his best to explain his actions, he continues throwing stuff around. You can hear his wife played by Terri Garr saying ” No, No I haven’t” He just keeps going. He replies ” Don’t be scared. Just don’t be scared. I feel really good. Everything’s gonna be all right. I haven’t felt this good in years.” As he continues ripping the place, and the neighbors yard apart.

The line she says is just as important, if not more so than his. “No, no I haven’t!” That is how it’s been. That is how its unfolded, this concept of designing up a book on my thoughts. Arguments within myself primarily because I have always written lyrics or poems, or short rants as I call them.

The purposeful life must be bliss because not knowing a life purpose outside of daily duties and titles can be a bitch. I’ve been doing it far too long. To go about a work a day lifestyle with the image in my brain has been, at times, very much like that movie father.
Here and there, there are people that can relate, but mostly my observations of people and the world are more like the mother in the movie. On one hand I couldn’t understand how and why society acts the way they do and felt not just hopeless, but powerless on how react. Knowing my trivial hobby of lyric writing but unable to write music, the obsession of how to vocalias my view kept eluding me. So I ran through phases. Broken relationships, suicidal depressions, the whole works trying to understand a purpose. Hell, for all I know this maybe just another phase trying to crystallize my idea. But I have to do it for sanity sake.

I found a quote on a t-shirt that summed up my frustration at one time. ” I don’t have enough colors of crayons to draw it out for you. “
Until I had the epiphany of just phonetically spelling out the outline, then seeing where it led. It was only in my mind, sitting there, almost thinking on its own. Now, that being said, I hope these are colors you can see as much as I have paleted. Everything is good in writing this, I see it now. I will try to keep it light but there are some thoughts and concepts that may seem ominous or darkly prophetic. As heavy as it may seem, I believe it needs to be said. I’m not anyone special beyond being a blue collar worker. Nor am I a power or rich elitist with resources. I am just articulating what this middle aged observing eyes have seen. How you react to this close encounter is up to you. Just know it’s been all out of love. I’m in the same greenhouse with all of you. My concern is that my start grows to be healthy and helpful for if not one, but for many.

THE BIG PIC Table of Contents

1) The Painting of Peace

2) The pursuit of happiness

3) The reality of spiritualism

4) Man vs mind

5) The Big Pic

6) Who Am I

7) A Message From Above


“As deep calls out to deep.”

For those that recognize it as such, forget for a few moments that’s a Bible verse. I’m not going to even state which book or verse. If you want to really know, by all means look it up yourself. But we all have it within us to decifer, with clarity and patience, using the problem solving skills I ttruly believe are devinely placed within us. If your not a spiritual person that’s ok. I’m not here to preach or convert. I just believe there is no reason people can discuss in a little deeper fashion without offending each other. For those that are not spiritual, I simply ask you channel intincts rather than your learned skill set. While you read what follows in this book, make sure you meditate on the whole context. Most is just an observation but I’m writing this not for myself but to help in my own small way humanity as a whole. It may go nowhere. Who knows. Life is a journey of trials, errors, blessings & luck. Yet I do ask one added request is to read it in a special way. Drop all your preconcieved notions about life in general. Let a forensic logic have the final say. You can research later but for intelligence sake, stay away from latching onto numbers stats or polls. They are slanted or change at a trends pace. Basically, use your observational intelligence once again to formulate forensics style, unbias, answers. You may find this a bigger discipline than you think it is. But ultimately it really is the most efficient, constructful way to look at the world around us. We should always be exercising our discernment this way. Then with the small list of conclusions, see if it begins to describe, if not but for a fraction, of the meaning of life. That is, after all, the question.

This is the task I set before myself in writing this. What is the meaning of life. To me, it seemed simple enough. Until “as deep calls out to deep” begins. Then the choice of the chasing begins. Oh sure the dicipline in applying the aforementioned approch would be a monumental task, but it’s my only chance in life. I’m not college educated, my diploma is from high school & the school of hard knocks as they used to say. Nevertheless it comes with a gaurentee of credits earned in courses such as Sociology, Phycology, Theory of Religion, Political Science, Astronomy, and a lifetime of Economical Domestic Budgeting.Which unlike others before me, I don’t believe in throwing references galore in which to impress you with. I’m simply in my mid 50s and I am taking up the task that has concerned myself and mankind for the lifetime of our existance. What is the meaning of life? Every approach to answer the question will always and has come with scrutiny to the tenth power. Brilliant minds have poured over this since a man and woman first heard their offspring utter the words “Goo goo gaa gaa!” So I’m aware it would be a rough climb for me to even try to answer. One with little resting stops along the way. Possibly a journey that I may never reach any concluding peak. But since I have no intention to really do like extreme climbing of a sheer face of a mountain, sleeping in a suspended hammock spiked to some rock crevice, just to make a weekend trip and for the sake of wisdom, my approach needed to be more sensible. Again, outside of going nuts like a composer writing with a Rachmaninoff endeavor,  trying to compose the most unimaginable piece of music to play, my compiling all of my thoughts, observations and data in this writing may have its side effects. The tendonitis my fingers might get as I write the footnotes on a phone screen is the first danger I can feel already. Yes the writing will not all be clinical either. Trying to lighten up some subjects that may get deep or boring. Yet I’m willing to risk it for the sake of my loved ones, friends,  acquaintances, enemys, and humanity in general. With no real vices, taking up trying to solve the meaning of life as a hobby really didnt seem that bad of an idea. Yet, like a parents answer to a child for reasonal procrastination from getting a monkey or a pony, “We’ll See!” I’m just putting my hobby to use.

Chapter 1

The Painting of Peace

My own first rewiring can be summed up in this little story about how we perceive. Sometimes there isn’t so much a wrong way of seeing things as much as there is a correct way. The story of the Painting of Peace depicts it perfectly.

The Painting Of Peace. Author Unknown

There once lived a king who announced to reward a prize to the artist who would paint the best painting  depicting peace. Many great painters sent the king several of their best art pieces. Finally It had come down to two paintings. One of the finalist masterpieces was a depiction of a calm lake perfectly mirroring peacefully towering snow-capped mountains. Overhead was a blue clear sky with fluffy clouds. The picture was serene and near perfect in its detail. Most of the people who viewed the pictures of peace from various artist thought that it was the best among all of them.

But when the king passed it up the crowd murmured in shock as he viewed the next one in line. The next painting had mountains too but they were rugged and bare. The storm clouds looked very angry and there was lightning streaking across the sky. In the center was a raging waterfall thundering down to the bottom of the canvas. This did not look peaceful at all. It looked like the artist has mistakenly submitted his painting depicting chaos rather than peace. However looking closely at the painting, the wise king could see a tiny bush growing in the cracks of the rocky cliffside. In the bush the artist had placed a mother bird who had built her nest. In the midst of the rush of angry weather, the torent waterfall, the bird sat on her nest in total peace.

Pointing at the first one he announced that as fine a painting it was, even the slightest change in conditions would upset the balance leaving it no longer peaceful. Therefore it was actually closer to define Complacent.

However, looking at the 2nd one, little more can occur that this little bird can’t endure. It already is patient amongst the unrest of the environment. Giving any nicer conditions can only bring more joy therefore this is a true depiction of Peace.

Despite what society and trends care to project or want to believe for any given generation, there are truths in the world. Whether they are instilled in us instinctively or by divine intervention and teaching. A truth by definition is sovereign. It stands on its own merit without a need for man’s manipulation. It exists for man’s understanding as a guiding tool.

Another example is if I were to be standing with someone and take something of theirs, like a purse, wallet or hat is it now mine? Regardless of the old adage possession is 9/10ths of the law, if taken unwillingly and not given it is caught stealing. There was a name for that very act. At the very core of it what is a truth. A truth that transcended any language. It merely grew from the core of our human psyche. We have been taught as children not to steal but that very act carried with it the definition that it is wrong from a deeper perspective.

Chapter 2

The pursuit of happiness

The pursuit of happiness is something that it’s just a simple as making it a choice. It needs to be done. Yet that doesn’t stop the temptations from surrounding obstacles that both hinder and blind us to that pursuit. There is something to be said about having faith because it is non-tangible. That is to say that you cannot hold on to it yet it fulfills a spot inside our psyche like no other experience the physical word world can offer. To learn to have happiness, true happiness, it becomes a personal attribute. Much like having peace. Revisiting the story at the beginning, if it is a object that causes the contentment, then any changes alters the circumstance of happiness. Why? It isn’t really in the object. It’s within ourselves. Because of that fact, you can find many people that get challenged then have lack of happiness when they are alone. Unbeknownst to me until just recently I’ve reflected back on a Time when I lived away from where I grew up and where I had friends and family. And I spent many years there but one day I had realized that I hadn’t contacted anybody. I, in the same token, had not heard from anybody else either. I didn’t take it personal. But I did use the opportunity to continue on with my life. Occasionally playing A little game within my lonely self as to when and who would be the first to reach out. It turns out, a good few months past before anybody called until one day I got the call, and I believe it was my sister. We both got a good laugh after. None was intentional, but it was very educational in the understanding of my endurance and keeping moral up. However the point being, that because I didn’t reach out the contact had been lost or deferred if you want to call it that way. My pursuit of happiness had hit an area in during that time when I was just alone. I was raising a daughter and all contacts that I had known and loved got dropped off somewhere. Recently I find myself back at home. That is to say back within the area that I used to grow up in where I have family and friends. Now, whether the new social norm or just my family, I’ve noticed that I could do the same experiment. I’m the one who initiated conversations for the most part. I’m the one who initiated phone calls again for the most part. The reason why I bring this up is because I’ve heard the deal pursuit of happiness like it’s a tangible thing. It is not. It is in the mind. I have found happiness in just eating, or seeing a sunset or sunrise. Some days that’s enough to carry me for the next hour or even a day.

Yet through circumstances and just not keeping my routine with enough understanding, what was the intangible became the unattainable. My concentration on the same routine over and over got derailed when time itself caught up to me. In my mid fifties and coming from a large mixed family, I felt extremely alone. I have a loving wife who had a close-knit family which I was apart of . The support group has she always knew in love was readily available at a moment’s notice 24/7 . My closest siblings , who were step brother and sister add past 10 years prior. Although I had other siblings that were actual blood related to bounce off of, the void was never filled. My closest sounding boards were gone they had passed. I felt unnervingly alone. During that time I will tell you I’ve been lonely. Depressional clinical and dare I say Suicidal Tendencies, lonely. That’s what writing this book was all about. Well one of the ideas. Happiness is what you make it. It is a Pure Balance. It is both tangible and imaginable. But most of all, happiness it’s something that must be worked on occasionally to keep in check. And should you find and your life that what used to make you happy is either missing or doesn’t you need to assess your situation. It is as easy as buying your favorite pie and taking that first bite. It’s also as easy as hearing a baby’s laughter and making you smile. If you find that you are without happiness, recheck your surroundings. And find the joy that is right there on your face. It’s much like love. People fall in love however the only reason why people they feel like they’ve fallen out of love is because they stop thinking of love. They stopped working at it. I could take that same sentence and say it like this. People can find happiness however the only reason why people lose their sense of happiness is because they stopped pursuing the joy of being happy. There are many things that take joy out of our lives. It’s up to us to put it back in its place. If you don’t then you truly have let your troubles and worries steal your happiness.

Chapter 3

The Reality of Spiritualism

The reality is simply faith. I could stop this chapter after one sentence. The reality of the world of one’s spiritualism is strictly one of faith. We must have the desired decision to acknowledge it’s existence first and foremost. Years ago I compared it to a mountain and one day someone made me aware of it. “Guess what, there is a mountain that is so indescribably beautiful, you must see it.” If I lived on the other side of the planet, it would be up to me to discern how relevant it is to my life. Is it relevant that enough that I believe that person to be telling the truth. If in my mind I decide that there is a credibility to it, now the question comes down to how far I am going to pursue it. As an atheist or agnostic I could simply walk away from the conversation right there. I can absolve myself and say that it may or may not be there or that I don’t believe the person at all. Without that examination or determination on my part it doesn’t mean that I can’t be affected by it or that it doesn’t exist. To a believer now the degree of exploring becomes the quest. Even just based off pictures or other accounts from people, I could be swayed into believing it exists. Without my actual encounter, I can still become very passionate about the concept of this Majestic Mountain out there somewhere. I am truly acting on faith alone that it exists. If I had the means I could even embark on a pilgrimage to see for myself. And should I be blessed enough to actually be able to see it I still may end up being challenged if I was to bring it up to a person who has never experienced it before. Faith is that circle of the unseen. I’m putting this in simple terms just for illustration purposes. It is a very sacred, personal, deep conviction that touches every person on the planet regardless if they adhere to any one ideology. I was taught early on in life that there is a difference between religion and faith. A religion is a way of life. To be religious means to adhere to a structured set of guidelines. Faith is a well of passion that is in our psyche about something that is bigger than ourselves. The reality of spiritual awareness truly lies within that second term known as faith. And it is in the realm of faith that I wish to focus in on. A person can be religious about their prayer time, are religious about there exercise time. But having faith first requires an acknowledgement of an omnipresence beyond our own. My own understanding is that if there is truly a omnipresence not only how much can I reach out to experience it, how much influence does it have over our lives within our physical world. As somebody who has that awareness it is a struggle everyday to live within the guidelines set forth by the Unseen. However if it is truly a world of Good and Evil with mankind being in the center, one can I dispute the fact that there are spiritual awarenesses that are in constant motion. Meaning hi there because our free will allows us to make wrong decisions or we truly are manipulated at times without our knowledge like Pawns in a spiritual battle,

Chapter 4

Man vs Mind

by higman

Images and offerings
encapsule us
Embrace our minds
to a time and place
where lovers erased
the future

Exceptions don’t exist
in a land of bliss
Til fate comes in and takes the blindness away
Thats where hope saves the day.

The time so long ago now only shows in the memories if those about ready to go
But we’re all critics in different theaters
understanding what hate is

Exceptions don’t exist
In a land of bliss
Til fate comes in and takes the blindness away
Thats where hope saves the day.

We’re making leaps and bounds in understanding the mysteries of the brain. Tolerance is lagging behind. In a generation that discovered plaques and tangles, changing attitudes is going to be far more controversial than the civil rights for race. We are now entering a phase where what is genius can be measured however the milestones of someone with disabilities, especially mental, are more heartwarming than newsworthy. Those gifted with talents will still highlight what the brain is capable of but there will be many more that will be looked down upon as having a disability.

Political correctness and label switching will never dissolve the measure. There is a bracket in the middle of a line that is considered normal behavior. There maybe quirks and talents to each one of us but for now well call those our character. Beyond the bracket is where we are learning more and more about. On one side you have the chemical or DNA driven anomalies. On the other, the learned and experienced traits.

We all know of and I can speak personally of people telling others to “just get over it” and really not knowing what the other person is exeriencing. PTSD is on that learned end of the spectrum. Getting over is not the option. Its like stubbing your toe. If it were that easy it would go away after the pain. Now imagine stubbing your toe , looking down to see a skull or even worse, a severed head. I apologize for the graphic but its not something you “just get over it” anytime soon. It will play out, and many times without you actually trying to recollect it.

The reality is that many people are able to empathize with people that have, will call them disabilities, of the physical nature. Fewer people, unless they have experience with them, are willing 2 go to lengths to understand those mental faculties that make us tick. I use PTSD as an example not only because I’ve known people with it, be it from the military or child abuse, but I’ve experienced it myself. Without getting into details I will say that we have come a long way in 50 years from when we used to incarcerate people for what we now know are simple human characteristics and anomalies. But why did we do that for so long back then. We were not educated enough is 1 answer but our own fears yes what drove it. We knew military people coming back from war suffered what was known as shell shock. But we had no idea that someone who had been raped could suffer PTSD in the same manner. Drama is trauma no matter how you look at it. I don’t believe it takes a degree of intelligence as much as the right time or something to take cold and manifest itself in such a dramatic fashion.

I’ll admit I am no doctor or psychotherapist. But that was the whole purpose in writing this book in the first place. There are many people out there such as myself with opinions and insights that will never see the inside I have a doctor’s office or university studying all these things that make us human. I’m merely trying to Chronicle what I heard and discussed in many conversations with people from all walks of life. In general people do care about each other. What stands in the way yes how much time involved it would take and how far it steps into their own fears Factor. And you can say that all it is is a person needs to be educated do you have a better understanding which is true. Yet I would be puzzled when I see the most caring of people, able to brighten a room as they walk in, fries and not know how to deal with a person with MS or cerebral palsy or down syndrome. That’s the reason why I started diving into some of these Fine Lines that we all carry. Most of them are learned traits. But from where or when?

My own experience involved a accident that I was in with my mother. Subsequently she passed away not too long after it due to the injuries. But the moment that has played out of my mind for the better part of 50 years I stayed away from. Weather was a block from shock or not wanting to deal with it anymore. But no matter how I tried the image when raise up. When I was sleeping when I was awake in a multitude of different scenarios it could either be just a flash or a couple second clip. Either way the emotions it would tap into would flow out like a water line without a valve. I have discussed it with therapist and psychologist over here the last 25 years. And one recently had mentioned that I need to put a spin on the vision. Create an ending that I can wrap my head around and be satisfied with. Going back to what started this whole book of the close encounters clip where you see things in a different light finally after seeing them 1 way for so long took shape again.

For the better part of my life I’ve seen my mom’s eyes looking back at me. Immediately Following the accident. It’s haunted my dreams both awake and asleep. It’s taking different meanings over that time. But the image Remains the Same. Then I began to embrace just recently that the interpretation of me trying to understand her eyes came from the wrong perspective. The cause of all my grief all the pain all the sleepless nights all the decisions based on that I was not good enough essentially the sum of many of my fears rested in the fact but I never saw it through my eyes looking to her. Had I embraced that perspective the true emotion of being taken away at that very moment following such a traumatic event is what shaped my thinking for decades to come. All my life I’ve always feared with a great reality that relationships would never last but a short time.. it’s resulted in failed marriages and failed dating situations. I’ve told myself it’s only a matter of time before whoever I am involved with at that moment that they will be leaving me. For whatever reason that they would be leaving me that I was not worthy enough to have them stick around for. And subsequently I better brace myself for that upcoming Rocky path. The View that I was finally able to realize wasn’t creating a scenario that I was able to live with but it opened up the back door for me to see the childhood trauma for what it really was the abandonment moment of being pulled away from the wreckage as rough is that was it was the flesh around the skull I’m having an accident in the first place that stubbed my toe. Even now I know there are people that may not understand what I am saying but I do know that we all share like experiences. I do know as well there are many out there that can relate. To hide away from the event some people can live with. I could not. There was no place on this planet that I could go and hide or filter the experience. Couple of years ago I saw a posting on a social media that said I’m sorry I don’t have the right crayons in my box to draw this out for you. I had to laugh and still do every time I think of that because can anybody that is trying to explain things that are going on inside their mind you must first find a person that can hear. Just like a person understanding hey Down syndrome or a person with physically debilitating disease it takes that same kind of understanding. Man versus mind I called this chapter because we have come a long way but it’s going to be a long battle before we are able to understand ourselves. If we could only start from the base that we are all human many of our misunderstandings, walls that we hit, and dare I say Wars or conflicts could be solved. As humans we have to always balance our fears and drives, our pride with our humility, and our love’s with our hates. Understanding that we’re all equal needs to be the first platform in our awareness. Until we’re able to conquer diseases they will be with us. In the same token, until we’re able to push open the door into our fears we will not have the understanding 2 truly empathize with each other. Recently in the past 20-30 years we have done Leaps and Bounds understanding and regulating blood. Something that you would think we would have figured out long ago. However it took the AIDS virus to bring that around. And even then ageless fears and I’ve been around since long before the Black Plague crept right back into our human psyche. Many people thought that just a simple hug from someone who has AIDS wood transfer to them. We are actually battling how to overcome physical ailments at the same time understand how our brain works alongside and chemical imbalances. We also are constantly battling social intelligence. Collectively when a fear seeps in, no matter how valid it may be or not, we will tend to believe it before fact-checking. Essentially we are our best barometer, are best resource to study and to obtain knowledge,. Unfortunately we are also our worst enemy and when we find a cohort or a group that thinks like us we become very dangerous to ourselves. Examining ourselves is the best thing we can do all the time. But make sure you do it without biases fears and judgments.

There is no reason why we cannot keep those characteristics that make us human. That makes us individuals. That makes us unique and separates us yet bonds us to each other. Until we’re able to bust apart the the human genome and remove or dissolve diseases and physical ailments we still have each other. Until we’re able to understand what makes us check what makes a person be able to playing piano better than being an architect. Until we’re able to understand what makes a person not be able to see or speak but it has a gifted Talent beyond that of a learned person we still have each other. Until we are able to embrace the indifferences and drop our fears we still have each other. And that’s all we have. And life is too short. Not to embrace that while were still alive and breathing.

As for myself, like the saying goes, God is not finished with my time here so I will continue to “examine thyself” til that day comes. Discerning the struggle between man vs the mind.

Chapter 5

The Big Pic [overpopulation,what were missing in our view, [[people begin to mold their thinking simply by watching tv which is wrong, how to change our perception}

It is Perfectly Natural and healthy 2 be proud of your creative endeavors. It is natural 2 work hard and enjoy the fruits of your labor. It is also instinctively natural to protect that which is yours or what you have created. That is actually an absolute truth. In a world that says there is no such thing as truths they should well heed that fact that stealing happens to be an absolute truth. Many know it is a Biblical principle written in the Ten Commandments. The fact is if I was to take something from somebody whether I want to call it my own now is redundant yet the very Act of it is called stealing. Which is an absolute truth. Whether you want to believe it was handed down from on high or thought of my very smart person Generations ago I’ll leave that up to you. Going back to our topic, there is a fine line between The Pride of prosperity and entitlement. It took the pandemic 2 bring more of a clarity to what it means to be human. When freedoms are taken away it tests that fine line every one of us hold near to us.

The ability to keep it together socially, even in a small circle with the uncertainty of the future tested us. It’s a far cry from like the testing a group of people would be faced with on food rationing if on a deserted island. But there again it does bring up the question of entitlement. So during times of prosperity, the distance that those deemed privileged Are Over The Line seems to be greater. Which is a harder walk back then most believe. It cuts into the very Instinct of our survival psyche. These are all Concepts that anyone can look up in most religion books. And I don’t need to quote any of them, one could look any of them them up simply by keywording privileged entitlement greed, but most of all humility. In times of crisis the best and worst of us can come out. We help each other out and even some will cross over that line risking themselves for the greater good of another fellow human. He at times of Crisis also brings out a very disturbing trait in those that are fearful. Whether they are acting out of fear consciously or not, they are capable of putting themselves forward first dare I say at all costs sometimes. And they will speak out forcefully if they do not get their way. Entitlement is a very controlled reaction when exercised. It does come with discernment though. Simply because I may have more money or more assets then another human does not give me any more rights to survive on this planet. Capability and opportunity, perhaps yes. But exercising actual entitlement is a conscious decision. Once again it rears up its ugly head higher during times of crisis because it’s led to believe it has more to lose. Entitlement has given the privileged a false sense of superiority. That is the reason why a downfall occurs…..

Chapter 6

Who am i (we all will be forgotten)

How do you define yourself? How does a person answer that when asked? The answers vary from professions, faith, family status, to sexual preference. Ultimately when it comes down to it, it becomes a descriptive, thats all. Some may emphasis a self importance but when you get down to the bare bones of it, all it is is a descriptive. It may be based on casting in social status or an egotistical desire to be known as but 99.9% of the time it is a projection of the person’s view.

I was asked what defines me and gave it some thought briefly. It bothered me a little as I don’t like labels as it has a tendency to box in the subject. Playing along I thought I am a father, been a husband, a writer, a creative person, a musician, production worker, a believer in Christ, and I can cook some. Just to list the majors of my chemistry register. Yet after a moment of thought, my answer was “I’m Human”. That was, the most definitive answer I could give. And that was the only answer I, personally was really satisfied with. I’m human. And yet there’s been times I’ve said that and have been judged as being depressive or with low self-esteem. Other times I have mentioned it, it has totally pissed off people. Which I truly don’t get.

Again bringing us back to the concept of looking at something one way and then seeing it differently later on. It relates with this scenario, I am talented and good in certain areas, yes, but I don’t define myself as that. My daughter is grown and so even though I’m a father I don’t actively define myself as that pretty much anymore. Although there’s a generation growing up now that have totally embraced individuality, personally, I find it perplexing to define yourself by your sexual orientation. Who I choose to sleep with because of my attraction interests most certainly does not “define” my goal or achievements. However there are many out there that find it a necessity to not only identify but wear it like a badge of honor. Which is their right to, however is it really a right? We’ll get into that in a moment.

Maybe it’s because the way I think but I have no idea why I am very satisfied with saying I’m human more than anything else. If a person is a lawyer, doctor or some high profession and they mention that, a percentage of them are doing it not only out of pride of a goal achieved but out of projecting self-importance. Boasting it for their ego’s sake. When I say I define myself as human, automatically I am on a level playing field with the rest of the human race. No better no worse. Just a member of the biggest club on the planet. I am not one to chest pound either. Although I will be the first to give respect to any person from the first meeting, my treatment to a doctor and a homeless person is equal. Both have gained that until such time their personality sways the pendulum. If we were to accept people at a base level this world would be much different. God given or humanity driven, that is the closest definition to having a right that I know.

Now, on to this concept we call a right. People defining themselves as one thing or another with the expectation that it is their right to do so predominantly have lost a sense of humility. A right by definition is a privilege given to one due to status or title. The civil Rights Movement for Afro-American and people of other races recognized the mere fact that they too were human and should be given equal rights as people with lighter skin. Essentially laying out the forensic stand, we are all human. That respect was well overdue both in law and humanitarian ideology. It has taken a few generations to assimilate however despite the biasas and racism, the forensic truth his undeniable. We’re all human. Why those three words are not pushed out in the forefront more often with the authority it projects I’m not sure.

How do you define yourself? Everyone should be saying I define myself as human. The foundation that is drawn with that statement is huge. Far wider and bigger then casting any net with a profession or lifestyle preference. Plus it has no holes. We should be embracing and probably saying we are human more than any statement I can think of. That is a right of ours that cannot be taken away and is unique in the universe. For that we could be and should be proud of collectively. It is far more complex that any race, creed, religious background, or sexual preference that man’s mind can come up with. Because it is what defines man. It is our right to call ourselves that. We are human. No other organism walking, crawling, swimming, sitting or running on the face of the only planet to date that we know harboring life can lay claim to that distinction. It is our only right. It encompasses an unimaginable list of talents and capabilities. One of those is the ability to recognize compassion and accountability. Having to spell out a protection or right for those needed. Also spelling out the dark side in recognizing consequences for those twisted enough to destroy or eliminate other life. Survival of the fittest is a no brainer. Those that are strong enough to by whatever means eliminate other humans could do so. However recognizing accountability is our top talent as humans. We have and are a conscious creature. With a moral compass that recognizes like beings such as ourselves. And no matter what faith the ideology comes from to do unto others as they would have done to you becomes a mission statement for our existence. Yea though the strongest May survive those that have the conscience to defend the right to human life automatically Define another prophecy. The meek shall inherit the earth. Those that exercise the right as a conscious thinking human are the meek in the face of those that would show a physical or self righteous domination.

Chapter 7

A Message From Above

I gave you all a chance, now you may want to listen to what I have to say. I gave you a world with more than you could possibly imagine. I gave you time to grow and learn and to understand each other and the world around you. I gave you an expanse of cosmos that would challenge, mesmerize and inspire you. Yet even more so, it should humble every person ever born at just how small of an area you occupy. It it a priveledge not a right. Lastly, I gave you freewill.
I’ve watched for some time how the dynamics work and as you come into your own free societal thinking you’re learning but not at the fast enough rate that I had hoped for. I care for you. Remember, I love you. However, you trust in people as leaders to guide you, then never keep them in check as they ultimately fall, caring about themselves first due to greed and power. When on those occasions you do collectively rise up against injustice you do it uncivilized, creating a chaotic war within your own lands. Decimating the very space you call home. You create confrontations and false accusations against your own kind, humans such as yourself, simply because they look different or they think different. They are from a different culture. You insult your own intelligence by being ignorant to a simple fact. You wouldn’t need protection from each other if you had education and love for one another. Just because you live on one side of the world, you must recognize that other people living on the other side of the world and are very different. Yet most of all, your human. YOU ALL ARE HUMAN. Able to overcome many obstacles. However, you choose not to learn how to master and guide freewill to your own benefit. Thusly, creating a world of hopelessness and despair. Which brings me to Faith. Simply because someone has hopes locked up within their own personal inspirations, and that maybe different than yours, you cannot find them at fault. Not one person alive have all the answers of even your own surroundings let alone the unseen universe of another humans mind. Whether you choose to believe in me or not is not the question. The fact that you would belittle a person for seeking hope in such a fashion, in a world that’s so desperately needs it, by your own reaction prooves them right. It says more about your own character then the mindset of the faithful. Whoever is set on destroying another human is against all life. Most of all, I find it appalling I left the choice of freewill and you choose to live complacent  to the possibilities and the challenges when looking out beyond the planet. Even to be introspective should force you to realize, not only the planet, but your very existence is on a very fragile course. I do believe that if forced to, most all human life would choose to work together in one accord. Just like hate, love only exists if you choose it. It’s not a faith, it’s a decision. You don’t hope to get along and work together, you choose to. Those that don’t get along, need to be taught what it means to live with other humans. Collectively, once again, you will get there to that understanding that you’re all human. Created all the same but with different characteristics. None of you are like other creatures around you but all who are human are the same. I would think that you would have figured that out and live by that creed alone already. For if you did, the world truly would be a better place. I gave you all a chance for millenniums now I would like to say one last thing. Do you believe in yourselves? Do you believe in your yourselves? Then learn to work together. Learn to help one another. Learn to sacrifice your own wants for other people’s needs. Learn to use your best qualities as a human being. Because in the end all you have is each other.
Don’t make me come down there.